5.25.07 ~ Flashback...I should have DIED this day and LIVED to tell about it...

Memorial Weekend is supposed to be a good time. Cook-outs and photo ops. I planned a trip w/ a few friends from college and we were all meeting up in Charleston, WV for the long weekend. I packed all my college photo albums in the backseat, packed a fuck'em dress and some heels, I was well rested and excited to see a friend's baby that just had been born, grabbed a Red Bull and I left Philly around 9 something am.

I was in a VERY bad car wreck. My seat belt saved my life. Real talk. I am alive and I have the seatbelt scars to prove it! 6 people witnessed the accident (one of them being a lawyer, thank God!) and I was conscious and aware throughout most of the incident.

A pick-up truck towing a trailer w/ a boat on the back swung into my lane and the rear of his trailer hit the front/passenger side of my car. I remember noticing him tailgating a green VW Bug in front of him, so I guess to avoid rear-ending them, he swung into my lane and the back of his boat trailer hit my car. I was only doing 65 mph in a 70 mph zone, 3:15 in the afternoon! And only 26 miles from my destination.

My car started spinning and when the tires hit the gravel, it started flipping over & over...I counted 7 times - all I could do was hold onto the steering wheel and breathe. There was not any movie moment screams or bright lights off my life flashing before my eyes. I had these shells my mom brought me back from Hawaii hanging on my rearview mirror. I just remember seeing them tossing and flipping every time the car flipped. I looked down at my dashboard and saw my baby nephew's (Kingston) picture (this was May and my 1st nephew had just been born in February) and my Bob Marley decal stuck to the dash...Mobb Deep was blasting...

I saw this pink puff of smoke, kinda reminded me of baby powder and the air bags deployed. At this point I put my arms up in front of my face to protect my face from the air bag...then I blacked out. When I "woke-up" my car was on the roof and I was upside down. I unbuckled my seat belt and crawled through the glass and gravel out my driver's side window. Mobb Deep was STILL blasting and all these old people were standing around my car looking and talking and trying to help. I only had on a wife beater and some sweat pants, you know comfortable driving clothes. One of my Adidas shell toes was a mile down the road, one of my tires w/ the axle still attached to it even further, clothes, hair products, CD's....all of my shit was everywhere. Every piece of glass in the car was broken. I saw my laptop bag and pictures from my photo albums that were in the backseat flying and floating all up & down the highway.

I called my Dad first and my ex-boyfriend, and then I passed out again. When I woke up it was 3 days later. I walked away w/ a concussion, a broken toe and lumbar/spinal strains. I am blessed and grateful to be alive. I had to fly back to PA from WV, and when my family finally saw me for the first time, now that was a moment I will never forget. Remember this was Memorial Weekend, everyone was out doing their own thing, my parents were in Hawaii, I was hundreds of miles away from home! Thank God for the strangers on the highway, my friends and my peoples in WV who held me down in the hospital. In the end, my car was paid off, all my medical and therapy bills were paid, I got a small settlement...it could have been far worse.

I didn't drive for over a year after this happened. The accident gave me terrible anxiety and panic attacks. I endured over a year of physical therapy, once a month weekend-long hospital stays to monitor my head injury - I still have a "small mass" on the right side of my brain. My neurologist says they're going to leave it there b/c from all the testing they have done so far, they don't see it causing any issues, and who wants to have brain surgery? So I'm fine w/ it being there as long as it's not doing any harm. But I swear - my short-term memory has gone to HELL since this accident and everyone likes to blame the ganja. Especially my mom. My memory was fine before this accident and the ganja has nothing to do w/ it. Only a non-smoker would say or assume that, LOL.

Seeing a boat on the back of a truck when I am driving today freaks me out sometimes. I forget a lot, I remember some and it was all crazy and so preventable. That dude had no business driving that fast and that reckless w/ that boat on the back of his truck. He almost took me out, but they always say - what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. So here I am. Stronger.

I survived what should have killed me. Please take NOTHING for granted and live every day like it could be your last. Appreciate the people in your life and don't doubt the kindness of strangers.

EVERYONE PLEASE BUCKLE UP & MAKE ANYONE WHO RIDES W/ YOU BUCKLE UP AS WELL. SEAT BELTS SAVE LIVES!!!