Way past my bedtime, and some random questions crossed my mind. Reminded me of the 20 ?'s section in VIBE magazine. Yes, everyone...I am a magazine junkie. An admitted and unashamed one. I read all kinds of magazines...hip-hop, cooking, gossip, tattoo, etc etc. I could go on for days how many magazines I read and why. I was even reading a friend's Playboy once a month...lost contact w/ him, alas, no more Playboy (there are some really GOOD articles in there, don't knock it til you try it...LMAO). The addiction started b/c of impatience. People in the City...you can definitely relate and you'll know what I mean. Do you realize HOW MUCH TIME we spend WAITING??? Waiting...for food, trains, nails to dry, hair to set, doctor/dentist to get you in (always an HOUR after your scheduled appointment time! We should start charging their asses' late fees!), etc. etc. So my impatience - lack of patience - however you want to call - led to my mom putting me on to the best thing to engage my mind and occupy my attention while waiting...magazines.
Anyways, for those of you hip-hop peeps you know of VIBE magazine. I have a subscription and I read it cover to cover. A strange thing about me is I read a magazine - ALL magazines - from back to front. I know I know...people tell me all the time I am strange and crazy. But it's my thing. I just do it that way. And in the back of VIBE - after all the escort ads, booty shaking DVD's, rim shop spots, Viagra sponsor ads and fake gold teeth kits - is the 20 ?'s section. Every issue, same place, different ?'s. Things that make you go hmmm...
I have a little version of the 20 ?'s I've been thinking about myself:
1. How excited are we to see Bernard Hopkins get his ass kicked again?
2. Why is marijuana illegal when shit like Xanax and Methadone are prescribed and heavily abused the most (proof: pot heads know more than law makers and doctors)?
3. Why do porn stars look like they're having so such fun...when we all know it's fake and veryyyyy exaggerated?
4. And really - how can 3 dicks be more fun than one, when 3 is more work and saliva runs low with one (plus: the pain factor. Triple ouch...)?
5. Why does Verizon DSL really suck ass but you really have no choice because Comcast is really fucking expensive? Really.
6. Why do black chicks still wear green contacts (sidebar: I thought that was over when Lil' Kim stopped doing it...)
7. Why are 'open-minded' people secretly considered 'freaky'?
8. Why do women take break-ups harder than men?
9. Why is it impolite to call an ugly baby ugly?
10. Why can't we cure AIDS (but Bono, Alicia Keys, Oprah, everyone and their mom raises $millions$ for AIDS research and prevention) but we can put people on the moon? WTF.
11. If 30's the new 20...why are people still lying about their age? Come on.
12. Why is "How Many Times" the BEST Bob Marley song ever...and the only ones people know are "No Woman, No Cry" and "I Shot the Sheriff"? Rasta.
13. Why do I love Prince and Ne-Yo yet they are sooooo metrosexual (sidebar: sooooo not a turn-on, fellas.)?
14. Why is E the best drug ever and only gay people you don't know have the best access to it?
15. Why do people - men & women - with fugly feet wear fucking sandals and show their fugly fucking toes in fucking public? I witness this daily. Fucking stop already! You know who you are.
16. Why do we even care what she's doing and where Paris Hilton is at 2 am?
17. Why are the places with the best food never open late (i.e. NOW)? Your only options are suspect Chinese take-outs and greasy foreign places with menus you cannot pronounce.
18. Why is bullshit flying nowadays because of bullshit terrorists and now we all pay for the bullshit?
19. Will we ever have a black president?
20. Why am I up so late when 5:45 am is gonna come real fast???
That's all folks.
2 comments:
WOW @ the saliva comment...lmao
well? i was being honest...
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